Healing Trauma: What Neuroscience Reveals About Emotions
Have you ever wondered why you feel the way you feel? Or perhaps you've caught yourself thinking that certain emotions are "bad" or that you shouldn't be feeling them at all? As a trauma therapist, I'm here to share a perspective that might change your relationship with feelings.
The Hidden Beliefs About Feelings
We carry deep-seated beliefs about emotions that we've inherited from our families, culture, and past experiences. You might have learned that:
Certain feelings are dangerous or bad
You're responsible for others' emotional states
Feelings are simply choices, and unpleasant emotions are your fault
Some emotions should be suppressed or ignored
If these beliefs resonate with you, you're not alone. These are common experiences, especially among trauma survivors.
A Paradigm Shift: Your Feelings as Natural Evolution
But what if I told you that your feelings aren't good or bad? What if, instead, they're simply you emerging through time – a natural response to your lived experience?
How Your Brain Creates Feelings
From a biological perspective, feelings are our way of experiencing and processing the world. Think of your emotional system as a sophisticated processing center.
How feelings work is that your brain takes in external stimuli (which for your brain, includes your own thoughts) and they get filtered through these 3 brain systems:
Implicit Memory System looks within for relevant data (this is in your subconscious brain where autobiographical history is held):
Learned beliefs about yourself and understanding of how the world works based on past experiences, including childhood and ancestral
Your Seeking System that assesses:
Immediate goals, wants, needs
Whether they are being met or not
Your Autonomic Nervous System that assesses:
Physical resources (energy levels, hunger, health)
Environmental support and safety
Presence of safe people
Once the external stimuli gets passed through these 3 systems, a feeling is born!
A Real-Life Example: How Emotions Happen
Let's break down a common scenario I experience to understand this process:
I’m working late into the evening, and I start feeling anxious. Here's what’s likely happening:
External Stimuli (remember, your thoughts are processed as external stimuli):
Darkening sky
Street noise
The thought of: I have more work to do but it’s getting late and I haven't moved my body in 8 hours
Then external stimuli gets filtered through 3 things:
Things I learned from my history that my subconscious brain feeds as relevant for this moment:
When I don’t get things done, I get punished. I have to keep working.
Overwhelm is bad.
Current State:
Goal: Complete work
Want: Rest
Need: To not feel overwhelmed
Resource inventory:
Physical state: Hungry, fatigued, aching back
Environment: Isolated from humans and nature for 8 hours
Street is loud and room is feeling stuffy
After the external stimuli gets filtered, the feeling that emerges is anxiety - not as a mistake, but as meaningful information. Through this lens, my anxiety becomes a wise messenger telling me:
"Your human battery is low." It's signaling I need rest, not resistance.
"Things are unfinished." Yes, this might mean more work tomorrow, and that's okay. I can trust myself to handle it.
"A younger part of you feels unsafe." When past fears of punishment surface, I can respond with gentle understanding: "Of course you're worried. That makes sense."
This approach transforms anxiety from an enemy to an ally, offering clear signals about our needs, limits, and places that need care.
Partnering With Your Feelings: To Build Self-trust and Heal Trauma
When we shift from fighting our emotions to understanding them, we unlock an innate guidance system. Like a sophisticated GPS, each feeling offers vital information about our internal landscape and external environment.
Listen to Your Body's Signals
Notice physical sensations before emotions peak
Track your unique emotional patterns
Recognize when you need rest, connection, or safety
Understand Your Story
Connect present reactions to past experiences
Identify triggered responses
Meet old fears with new understanding
Respond with Compassion
Notice judgment and add curiosity
Honor your needs without pushing through
Trust that difficult feelings carry valuable messages
A Small Invitation
As if watching the world outside your window, try observing one feeling today with gentle curiosity. What do you see when you look without judgment?
Coming Soon in Future Blog Posts
A Deeper Dive into Feelings & Brain Healing Science: How your brain processes information
Feel Without Flooding: Practical tools to experience emotions without getting stuck in overwhelm
Building Emotional Resilience: Transform difficult emotions into guidance for growth and resilience
Feeling Called to Learn More?
If you're curious about deepening this work with support, I'd be honored to connect.
Schedule a consultation to explore how we can transform your relationship with emotions into a foundation for lasting change.