If You Want to Transform Your Pain, Hold It Well

I help clients feel more okay and equipped to navigate current challenges & stay in connection by tending to the source of their triggers, symptoms, and emotional pain that makes reality harder for them.

How do I do that?

I know that the conditions I co-create between me and my clients in the therapeutic space informs the healing that can happen.

Brains naturally move towards healing when they can sense readiness. What supports readiness? Practice holding pain with a sense of safety.

Sometimes being with our pain feels too scary (consciously or unconsciously), like it’s going to be endless or we’re going to get stuck in it forever. So we don’t do it.

But if we want to heal, we need practice doing this scary/uncomfortable thing. And when we do, we can increase our capacity to be with hard things while feeling curious, compassion, and this sense of “I can handle this”.

Curiosity and compassion are forces of safety and regulation for our brain.

So let yourself feel that tightness in the chest, that drop sensation in the gut, that anxious voice in your head… and see if you can offer it genuine acknowledgment and even compassion. “I see you. I see you doing your thing. I’m here with you. I can feel you and I’m okay.”

See what happens next.

I keep seeing that when we can simultaneously hold our activation with a grounded sense of “I can handle this” or “I’m here with you”, our wounds transform into a part of us that feel true belonging within us. I keep seeing people’s capacity to trust themselves and do hard things increases.

I want this for all of us, especially queer trans people of color, as I root in my dream for collective liberation.